What a difference a year makes
by RosarioN
Summary: Shelagh's life changes beyond recognition in the space of a year.


**A/N : Shelagh's life changes almost beyond recognition in the space of a year  
**

* * *

**4am**

**1958**

She still finds herself waking early, 10 years of rising for Lourds will do that to a person. Her body clock is still set to Nonnatus house time even though she isn't there. The sannitorium is quiet at this hour, all inhabitants, patients and nurses alike are asleep. All except her, lying now awake and alone with her thoughts and far from feeling peace.

**1959**

She hears the bedroom door click open softly, Patrick creeps in and attempts to go about a quickened version of his night time routine without putting the light on. He shuffles about and muffles a curse as he tries and fails to jammy the dresser draw open. He got called out to a difficult birth at around midnight and has only now just returned.

Shelagh smiles to herself. He always tries to be quiet yet doesn't quite manage it. In fairness, she herself is only in a halfsleep, having been up feeding Angela until 10 minutes ago, had she been in a deep sleep she wouldn't have heard anything.

The bed dips down on Patricks side and there is a slight chill of cold air as the duvet lifts for a second. An arm draps itself over her waist and Shelagh feels herself fall back to sleep.

* * *

**8am**

**1958**

Breakfast at Nonantus house was always toast in the Kitchen, grabbed in a rush before going on call for the day. Here at the Sanitorium, it was served on a tray in bed, which Shelagh found to be rather indulgent, but she secretly enjoyed.

Still observing the rules of the religious life meant 2 things. Firstly it meant that her hair covering needed to be in place before anyone saw her in the morning, and secondly, it meant smiling sweetly and not speaking her mind when each morning the Nurse that came to deliver her breakfast made a quip about whether Shelagh would be receiving any more mysterious letters that day.

One morning she was a little slower than usual to start her daily routine, and the Nurse came in while Shelagh was still brushing out her hair, to be told "Gosh Sister Bernadette! You'd be quite pretty really if you weren't a nun."

**1959**

"Mum, is there any bacon left?"

Shelagh jolts awake and takes in her surroundings. She'd dozed off again. Up at 6am with Angela, she'd fed and changed the baby, washed and dressed herself, and had then intended on having a quick cup of tea before starting on the morning chores. A glance at the full cup of cold tea by the side of the armchair told her that she must have fallen asleep as soon as she sat down. That had been around 7, and now Tim was up and needed breakfast.

"No, Dad finished it off last night" Shelagh told him. "Cornflakes for me and you this morning."

"No bacon _**and** _shopping -what a fun Saturday" Tim grumbled.

"That's what happens when you out grow your school shoes" Shelagh smiled at him tiredly. "We'll pick up some bacon later and you can have a bacon butty this evening instead."

"Morning Turners!" A freshly bathed Patrick appeared in the doorway with a grin his face, which grew even larger as he spotted Angela sleeping in her moses basket.

"You're up early dearest? Are you coming to town with Tim and I?"

"No, I have some paperwork to finish up so that I can join you for lunch." Patrick replied absently, stroking the sleeping Angela's cheek. "That's ok isn't it?"

"That's fine." Shelagh smiled. "We won't be too long."

* * *

**11am**

**1958**

The doctors have done their midmorning rounds. Shelaghs lungs are looking clear and now there is talk that she could be home within the next 2 weeks.

The nurses and orderlies are bringing around the post. Shelagh received a letter 2 days ago telling her that Sister Julienne would be visiting her today, she figures there may not be a letter from Nonatus house. Will there be another letter from Doctor Turner?

She feels slightly bad. She knows that he has been writing these letters for weeks now, and she is still yet to reply to a single one. How must he feel? Sending these letters into a void, not knowing if she is receiving them, let along reading them. But he continues to send them nevertheless, that shows quite a level of devotion if nothing else.

"Here you go International Nun of Mystery" Nurse offers a plain white envelope.

Butterflies rise in anticipation in her stomach. Could it be…?

It is from a Turner, but not the one she was hoping for. Timothy's handwriting is scrawled across the envelope. She smiles, she enjoys receiving letters from Tim. His infectious personality comes across as well in written form as it does in person. A cup of tea and a letter from Tim, just what the doctor ordered.

**1959**

Shelagh is still getting used to manoeuvring Angela's Pram over the cobbles and through the crowds. It's taking twice as long to get anywhere. It's ironic she thinks, that all those years as a midwife, and she never had any experience of pushing a pram.

Tim is already inside the shop by the time she catches up with him.

"These will do" Tim says, grabbing the first pair of shoes he sees on the shelf, which look vaguely to be around his size, eager to get this over and done with.

The shop keeper smiles at Shelagh.

"Tim, dearest, firstly you will need to try those on. Secondly, we need to check the size, and thirdly, that pair are brown, the school says you need black ones."

Tim sits down in a huff as Shelagh jiggles Angela slightly to work free an arm and gestures to the shoes "can we have those in black and size 6?" she asks the shop keeper.

3 pairs later and they have a pair they can all agree on. "Now can we go?" Tim asks, thouroughly grumpy.

"Yes, once I've paid" Shelagh says, indicating that Tim needs to take Angela for the moment. As the baby is transferred across to her brothers arms, not even Tim can stay grumpy. He sits on the wooden bench and tickles her stomach, watching as she bats her little arms at him.

Shelagh watches transfixed as the man behind the counter boxes up the shoes.

"You have two beautiful children" the woman behind her in the queue comments.

"Yes I do" Shelagh agrees.

* * *

**3pm**

**1958**

She's happy to see Sister Julienne. She is grateful for all the visitors she has received, and loves spending time with them all, but Sister Julienne is different. She feels calmer, comforted.

Sister Julienne also looks relaxed and excited to see her too. Conversation flows freely as Sister Julienne catches her up with all the happenings at Nonnatus house. She only wishes she had any news to share with Sister Julienne, but she can't voice her thoughts, not her true thoughts at any rate.

Instead she ventures to share news of the latest butterfly that Tim has sent her.

"Tim writes to you a lot doesn't he?" Julienne probed gently

"Yes he does" She replied, unwilling to take the bate.

"That must be nice for you." The Nun continued.

"Yes, I enjoy receiving everyones letters" Shelagh said pointedly.

"You must have made a particular impression on him after the fete, he asks after you all the time. Such a sweet boy."

"Indeed"

"He must be missing having a mother figure poor child. Doctor Turner works such long hours and it has been barely two years since-"

"Can we change the subject?" Shelagh said sharply, causing Julienne to look startled.

"Well of course we can" Julienne said confused and concerned, it wasn't like Sister Bernadette to be so short tempered. What could be ailing her?

**1959**

Shelagh had promised Sister Julienne earlier in the week that they would have afternoon tea at Nonnatus House. Sister Julienne had always been slightly over protective of her, but she had been even more so since Angela's arrival. Shelagh couldn't go 3 days without either a visit from one of the nuns or midwives, or a phone call, or in this case, a summons to Nonatus house.

Patrick helped her carry the pram up the steps. They had barely got to the top of the steps when the door opened for them.

"My dear friends" Sister Julienne greated them. "May I?" she didn't wait for an answer before she scooped inside and picked up Angela.

Patrick and Shelagh grinned at each other. The Nuns had done a bad job in trying to hide their favouritism toward the littlest Turner. They showered Freddie Noakes with affection as the son of one of their team, but even that paled in comparison to the attention Angela was given.

From the time Shelagh stepped over the threshold to Nonnatus house to the time she left, she would barely see Angela. If she was awake she'd be in Sister Juliennes arms, or being bounced on Evangelina's lap and today was no exception.

Shelagh was given a cup of tea and a piece of cake and was ordered to sit down and relax. She watched the happy tableau as Tim and Patrick played cards with Fred, and Angela fell asleep in Julienne's arms, her tiny fist grasping at the long folds of the nuns habbit like a security blanket.

Shelagh was pleased. She'd been close to her own grandmother when she was a little girl, and she wanted Angela to have the same relationship with Julienne.

She also knew she wouldn't have to worry about nightdresses or cardigans for a long time as Sister Monica Joan had been knitting up a storm.

For the longest time it felt odd to be in Nonatus house, and not be in her nuns robes, she initially felt awkward and out of place, even after she got married. But since having Angela, all that seemed to change.

"Mum!" Tim yelled "Tell Dad to stop cheating!"

Shelagh grinned and made her way over to them, she felt Julienne's eyes follow her, and if she had turned to look at Sister Julienne in the face, she would have seen an ill disguised look of maternal pride.

* * *

**10pm**

**1958**

Silence again. The Great Silence wasn't enforced here, but Shelagh did try and keep up the ritual. She hated this time of the night. Alone with a mind too busy to allow herself to switch off and sleep.

Did he love her? Did she love him? Was it worth the risk and the joy of jumping into the unknown. What was God's path for her now? Never in her life had she felt so confused and uncertain. Was she misreading the signs?

**1959**

"Two little Turners asleep. At least for now" Shelagh says as she returns to their bedroom having done a final check of Tim and Angela.

Patrick is sat up in bed reading, minus his pyjama top. After 7 months of marriage Shelagh knows the signs. Patrick going to bed in just his underpants is a signal that he has hopes for the type of night where clothing is optional.

Shelagh rounds the bed slowly to her side. She gets in and removes her glasses, before stretching, and through a huge yawn says "well good night Patrick, I'm exhausted after today". In one swift move she has put out the lamp light and is lying on her side facing away from him.

It's her shoulders shaking as she tries to contain her laughter that give her away. Smiling Patrick reaches out an arm, grabs her shoulder and gently rolls her over toward him.

"You don't get away from me that easily" he says, leaning down to capture her lips with his own.

Afterwards, when they are lying their naked, legs entangled, her head resting on his chest, she can feel his heart beating under her hand. She is feeling contented and surrounded by love, and more certain than ever that this was the path in life she was supposed to take.


End file.
